Codependency is NOT a victim-less crime, it makes victims out of us, our loved ones and even our friends. I use to be codependent so I know the feelings of low self worth, pain and anguish that comes with being codependent for both the codependent person and our children who grow up to suffer from it as well as every relationship we have .
I did not know I was codependent – did not even know what the word really meant other than it was a word that I would hear others talk about when they were making a joke about someone being “too needy” or “trying to run someone else’s life.” Well, I did not believe any of that applied to me so I did not even care.
Then one day I happened across a book written by Melody Beattie titled “Codependency” so I checked it out of the library and took it home to read it. A few days passed and still I had not even opened the book being the “very busy codependent” I was. Finally, I had some spare time and could not find anything else to do and decided I would at least check it out since it was due back at the library the next day.
I was totally SHOCKED at what I read on the first page! Was this woman talking about me because she was describing me like she had known me all her life! At age 45 I discovered I was Codependent and not only was I codependent but so was my mother and her mother and I was making my own children codependent or hate me for my ways, and more than that it was going to be passed on down to my grandchildren and their children and so on until someone broke the chain.
I decided I WAS GOING TO BREAK THAT HORRIBLE CHAIN BEGINNING WITH MYSELF! I completed reading Beatte’s book and went on to another “CoDependency NO More.” I took notes, followed her suggestions and every time I would slip I would redo what I did using different statements and training myself to stay our of others’ business, not to be so bossy and not try to solve the worlds problems for them.
Of course, it sounds not too bad and easy to recover from it but like any other bad habit we have – breaking them is not that easy, but it can be done – I am walking talking proof of it.
Therefore, one must make some choices, do you want to let your victims go free, or keep them bound to your will til you die. And then let them go on to create other miserable people including your children’s children and on down the generations or do you want to let them live free so you can live in freedom and no longer suffer from the hurt feelings, mental anguish, anger, resentment and so forth that comes with codependency.
Here are some books to help you get started and complete your goal of breaking the chain of Codependency. Try one or more of them today – you will not be sorry you did.