Author Archives: Coyalita

About Coyalita

I was born and raised in the great state of Oklahoma where I lived until I was age thirty two. Traumatic events from Domestic Violence left me in a hole I could not get out of for 23 years of my life. The things I write about on these pages are actual events of my own life and therefore it is my passion to spread the word concerning these issues. I am a Behavioral Rehabilitative Specialist (B.H.R.S), I have a Masters Degree in Public Health, Masters Degree in Addiction Counseling, a Baccalaureates Degree in Criminal Justice and an Associates Degree in Corrections, and Baccalaureates Degree in Ministry. I have worked in each of these fields for a number of years and there is not much I do not know about each one. I have made it my life's objective to continue education and learn all there is about life and society. I currently live in Oklahoma after an adventure to Texas where I met and fell in love with my husband today, and we visited the great state of Kansas and lived there for many years. Yet, Oklahoma has a way of always puling me back home. So now I have set my tree and rooted here on my farm within the peace and quiet of the wildlife, trees whispering, and wonderful wild flowers that grow and console my soul. And here I am with you today to share all my knowledge and help you in every way I can do so, but one thing I learned along life's way is that sometimes one has to want to help themselves as well. I look forward to traveling your journey with you. Peace Always

What is Codependency?

What Is Codependency? 

“Codependency is typically discussed in the context of substance use, where one person is abusing the substance, and he or she depends on the other person to supply money, food, or shelter. But codependency is much broader than that,” says Jonathan Becker, DO, assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee.

“Codependency can be defined as any relationship in which two people become so invested in each other that they can’t function independently anymore,” Dr. Becker says. “Your mood, and happiness identity are defined by the other person. In a codependent relationship, there is usually one person who is more passive and can’t make decisions for themselves, and a more dominant personality who gets some reward and satisfaction from controlling the other person and making decisions about how they will live.”

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Homeless Famiies

A homeless family father worries how he is going to feed his children and wife.

A homeless family father worries how he is going to feed his children and wife.

A four year old child living on the streets cries with hunger. Chained by the leg while his mother searches for food.

A four year old child living on the streets cries with hunger. Chained by the leg while his mother searches for food.


Homelessness: The Facts. Every year 600,000 families with 1.35 million children experience homelessness in the United States, making up about 50 percent of the homeless population over the course of the year (source). Domestic violence is the immediate cause of homelessness for many women and children.”

Please Donate Today and Help These Families to be Restored with food, clothing, and shelter. Thank You

Please Donate Today and Help These Families to be Restored with food, clothing, and shelter.
Thank You


Child Abuse Statistics

This Child has been tied up by her mother so as to not bother her anymore.

This Child has been tied up by her mother so as to not bother her anymore.

These children were beaten by their parents.

These children were beaten by their parents.

Child Abuse is ongoing daily before our eyes at the supermarket, bus stop, or walking and driving down the street. We see child abuse occurring and how often do we stop to prevent it?

Child abuse occurs in families whether homeless families or behind closed doors within every society today. It is an age old ripple in families since the beginning of time and today we need to find help for those who commit it, establish more stringent and powerful laws concerning the issue and crimes, as well as provide support for the children who survive it. Unfortunately, some children do not always survive child abuse as you well know they either die, suffer from nightmares, mental torture with recall of the events of childhood trauma as adults, and more than likely abuse their own children.  For adults have learned through social learning within the home that is the way to correct children. (Of course, this is not in every case valid).

Child Abuse is defined as “when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. There are many forms of child maltreatment, including neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation and emotional abuse.”

She first tries to comfort her child and then... then-she-tries-to-quiet-him

Every year more than 3.6 million referrals are made to child protection agencies involving more than 6.6 million children (a referral can include multiple children).

The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations – losing on average between four and seven children every day to child abuse and neglect.

Yearly, referrals to state child protective services involve 6.6 million children, and around 3.2 million of those children are subject to an investigated report.

Help Support Our Cause For These Children and Fight Child Abuse Today Donate Here: 

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Social Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder

Social Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder people with bipolar disorder often experience social anxiety. Learn why this can be a dangerous combination and how it changes your treatment.

Bipolar disorder, which is sometimes called manic-depressive illness, causes severe mood swings that can make daily functioning difficult. At times, these shifts in mood and energy level can be overwhelming. Extreme social anxiety, the fear of being criticized or embarrassed in social situations, can be a separate anxiety disorder, or it can occur with bipolar disorder. When they exist together, they can be a dangerous mix. People with bipolar disorder experience mood swings that range from severe sadness and hopelessness to overly high levels of energy, restlessness, and irritability, known as mania.

Here are some clues that suggest you may have social anxiety along with bipolar disorder:

 Presence of panic attacks and fear of social situations along with mania or depression. Symptoms that started during childhood or early adulthood. Symptoms of anxiety and sleep problems that are present when you are no longer in a manic mood. Poor response to the usual treatments for bipolar disorder.

Impact of Social Anxiety on Bipolar Disorder Research shows that about 20 percent of people with bipolar disorder experience panic attacks, compared with less than 1 percent of people without a mood disorder. Research also shows that social anxiety rarely exists by itself. Various studies have found that about 80 percent of people with social anxiety have at least one other mental disorder during their lifetime. These are some of the dangers of having both bipolar disorder and social anxiety:

A recent study found that people with both anxiety and bipolar disorder are more likely to display suicidal behaviors than people with bipolar disorder alone.

 People with both bipolar disorder and social anxiety are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs, which may make symptoms of both disorders worse.  Social anxiety makes bipolar disease more difficult to treat. People with both disorders score worse on measurements of daily life functioning than people with bipolar disorder alone.

Why Do Social Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder Occur Together? It is clear that there is a relationship between social anxiety and bipolar disorder, but it is not clear whether one leads to the other, or if they have common causes and exist together. Here is what some research shows:

 People with bipolar disorder may have traumatic experiences caused by their mania early in life that lead to a fear of social situations.

 People who have bipolar disorder may abuse alcohol or drugs to control some of their symptoms. Abuse and addiction can make social anxiety disorder worse.

 Both disorders may run in families, since studies show that family members of people with bipolar disorder also have a higher rate of anxiety disorders. Treatment of Bipolar Disorder With Social Anxiety If you have social anxiety and bipolar disorder, both disorders need to be addressed for treatment to be successful. This often requires a combination of drug treatment and talk therapy. In most cases, treatment of both disorders can be successful.

Treatment options include:

 Mood-stabilizing medications. These drugs are usually used first to treat the bipolar part of the disorder. Examples of mood stabilizers used for bipolar disorder include lithium, valproate, and olanzapine.

 Antidepressants. These medications work well for social anxiety disorders, but they must be used very carefully with bipolar disorder, since they can make some bipolar symptoms worse. For this reason, doctors may avoid antidepressants or use them only in lower doses.
 Benzodiazepines. These drugs may work well for anxiety and are safe for bipolar disorder, but can cause physical dependence and must be used with caution by anyone who has a history of substance abuse.

 Psychotherapy. Talk therapy has been shown to be very effective for treating social anxiety disorder, so one option may be to use a mood stabilizer along with cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT teaches people with social anxiety to change their thought patterns and to replace poor responses with more healthy responses. Other types of talk therapy that may help include family therapy and relaxation training.

 Lifestyle changes. Keeping a regular schedule, getting enough sleep, and avoiding events that cause stress can be helpful for both disorders. Getting regular exercise and avoiding alcohol and drugs are also very important. Bipolar disorder and social anxiety disorder frequently occur together. The addition of social anxiety causes an increased risk of suicide and of alcohol and drug abuse, and generally makes dealing with bipolar more difficult. The good news is that both disorders can be treated. With the right combination of drugs, lifestyle changes, and psychotherapy, most people with these disorders do recover.


Last Updated: 3/20/2015 See More: Rodriguez Diana (2015) Social Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder. Every day Health.


How To Take Care of A Person Who Has Mental Illness?

It is recorded that one out of four people in the world, endure some or the other sort of mental health problems.  To take care of someone who suffers from mental health difficulties, bring forth difficult trials.

Mental problems fluctuate critically in severity. Minor problems are general and can be assisted with services for mental health and being considerate and supportive. Austere psychological illness, like profound despair, is less prevalent and shows more challenges.Communicating can be a tussle for many people with this form of illness.  Some people don’t have the enthusiasm to converse, while others have the dearth of self-confidence to express what they really wish to. To comfort the person you care for give them mental health support by talking, giving them adequate time to make them heard and let them realize that you accept them with their disease.

Time and again, people with cerebral health issues sense to be distanced from other people, counting family, friends and neighbors.  It’s significant to pay attention to what they’ve got to speak and to allow them to express themselves, without disturbing or presenting your opinion when not required.

If you look after someone who seems to have the cerebral health problem, they may not have pursued for mental health services or they might be pugnacious to get a precise checkup done.  A diagnosis will typically be performed by a psychiatrist with feedback and suggestion from other healthcare specialists too.

People, who offer mental health support to someone suffering from a psychological illness, may discover that some healthcare experts are hesitant or unenthusiastic to share information with the caretakers. This can be very annoying, as a lot times the carer has the complete picture of the person’s disorder. Though, cerebral healthcare specialists are lawfully certain to guard the privacy of their patients, but they might be incapable, rather than reluctant, to discourse about the care needs.

To deal with this problem, endeavor to acquire the consent of the patient you are concerned about, converse about their desires soon after their diagnosis. This permission must be provided in relation to the official procedures or official papers unfolding to their care, and any variations to this approval should be evidently noted for further reference.

Caring about yourself
Even though it’s imperative to care for the patient, it’s even important to take care of your own psychological health too. If you begin to feel unhappy or nervous and receiving support with being compassionate hasn’t made a difference, it might be time to tell your General Practitioner, about the influence your supportive part is having on your psychological health.

Source by davidlee

Unhealthy Mother Son Relationships – Kim Clay

I’m normaly asked, what do I need to do after breakup despite the fact that I still have a crush on a guy? My response has always been this, what do you need to do? I acknowledge that this is not the solution you’ve expected but it’s strange that a person you used to care for, the one you committed everything, turns out offending you the most. As they say, ‘love is pain’ even if it’s good someday you’ll pay for it.

It’s a piece of cake to say love hurts when you are not hurting but when you are in a relationship with a person who can’t love you back it’s like been in hell. Can you remember all that caressing… may be those Limes flowers… all that ‘I love you’… those candies and laugh, gone in a thin air, that’s too bad isn’t it?

What can you do?

Click Here – Ways to Forget Your Ex Boyfriend In 24hrs

Phoning your ex boyfriend is not one of the greatest advice. Demanding a condonation to return is a bad objective. What can you do? First you have to understand that love is nothing but a state of mind, it’s the way you flavor your partner. When you change that feeling, there is no intimancy. Are you beginning to understand? Let me make it plain to you for a second.

Simply consider this, before you ran into him, you didn’t sense anything about him. Even when I were to give all details about him it wouldn’t produce any passion the way you do now. Do you understand why? Because as you are infatuated by a person, you create emotional response, which is learned, in your neurology. The longer you stay together in a romantic way, the more you hardwire the attraction in your brain and that means you establish more feelings of (love).

Hence, as you break up with a man there is a strengthened acquired desire that makes you feel embarassed. If you can’t save a lost love then you’re in a turf situation. You may argue why you can’t put your head together correctly or why you feel uneasy about your appearance because of nervousness caused by breakup
break up. This influences how you perform actions and your over all demeanours. A simple way to get over this is to change how you deal with devotion. You must change how you feel about your man.

I’ll put it in plain English…

Take any book you can find around, grip it while facing the front cover then move it 180 degrees and then notice it from different sides . You will observe that, its appearance look different depending on what position you are looking at. The book is the unchanged but the way you look at it, changed. Now, I’m not comparing your guy with the book. What I’m saying here is this, when you change the how you feel about your ex boyfriend, break up will not impacts you. You might be anxious to understand how to execute this? The good news is there is a trick to aid you get over your ex boyfriend completely. This technique will make you cope with break up completely, you will be stronger than you can think.

Source by Kim Clay

Books To Help With Anger Management

With anger management being used in many programs and situations, there are thousands of resources available to those affected. Beside support groups, individual counseling sessions and treatment centers, there are many anger management books available to help people deal with anger-related issues. There are anger management books written focusing on different groups such as children, teenagers, adults, men, women, couples, families and anyone who is involved in situations which may require anger management advice. Because of the diverse needs, these anger management books are written to be understood by the various groups as well as used as tools to control anger and work through various situations.

Anger management books for children focus on a child’s reactions to feelings of anger. Using illustrations and stories which children can relate to, these books are written in such a way that children can relate and hopefully learn from. There are also anger management books for children, meant to be used by people working through behavioral problems with children. These books include tips and strategies for dealing with children who are experiencing difficulties caused by feelings of anger. Using these books, programs and effective treatments can be developed for anger management in children.

Teenagers deal with unique situations, encounters that only a teen might understand. Anger management for teens would be focused on dealing with anger-related issues surrounding teens. Offering advice and lesson plans, these anger management books for teens may provide answers to a young person’s questions regarding dealing with feelings of anger.

Adults with anger problems are different from children and teens. Adults face daily challenges which children don’t understand, situations which unleash all sorts of emotions including anger. When the anger creates problems at home, at work or among friends, they might benefit from reading anger management books for adults. Couples might be able to find help in anger management books for adults as well.

When a family is affected by anger, the situation can become much more intense and complicated. Since it involves so many people, different relationships and all sorts of feelings and emotions, a family may require various anger management books. With the resources available, there are doubtlessly anger management books written for families.

Where would a person find these anger management books? A doctor or medical professional ought to be able to recommend useful anger management books to interested people. A local library would be another good source for anger management books. Local bookstore and online bookstores such as Amazon should be proficient in providing a list of anger management books for all ages. The Internet is a terrific source for information on anger management. Through searching and browsing the related sites, there will be recommendations for anger management books. These sites will also likely provide details about how to obtain a copy of these anger management books.

Once a person finds an anger management book that contains useful tips, techniques and strategies for managing anger, it would be wise to use the information in the book to make changes and work through problems with anger. Anger management books are useless sitting on a shelf collecting dust.

Source by Jake J Saab

Unhealthy Relationships – How to Easily End them

At least once in your lifetime, you will find yourself in a couple of unhealthy relationships that you just seem to can’t let go of. As the days drag on, although you can’t take it any longer, you just can’t seem to take that first step. Maybe because, you’re still hoping that everything will still change. Or you can’t bear hurt the feelings of your lover. Whatever it is that is holding you back from getting out it, unhealthy relationships will only cause more emotional damage if not ended soon.
Unhealthy relationships can come in different forms. Most of the time it involves some form of abuse. If you think that your partner is physically or emotionally abusing you, by all means, get out of that relationship as fast as you can. If one partner is hindering the other from growing, then the relationship just isn’t healthy for both of them anymore. And once the relationship becomes unhealthy, conflict will surely arise.

Ending an unhealthy relationship starts with a conscious decision of actually ending it. You have to be determined to let it go so that you wouldn’t have to think twice about it anymore. Many people find it hard to break up with someone because they think that eventually the situation will get better again. Nothing good will come out of the procrastination. It will just hurt more.

Ending a relationship can be a difficult undertaking but it doesn’t have to be traumatic on anyone. As long as you have a clear understanding of what you want your future to be, an unhealthy relationship is the last place you would want yourself to be in.

Source by Michael Freeman