Monthly Archives: October 2016

Managing Stress Due To The Death Of Our Loved Ones

You can recall clearly the day your father took you for your first bicycle ride. It was a crisp autumn day and the sun was shining on your brand new Huffy. You remember his hand gently guiding your bike along the road that ran by your apartment building. You even recall his smile as you began steering your bike on your own.

The memory lingers with you as you begin to make preparations for your father’s burial. He had had a long illness cancer and you knew that the end would be coming soon. Yet, you now think that nothing could have prepared you for the day when he actually died.

While you anticipated a period of mourning, you failed to realize that you would encounter a great deal of stress as a result of his death. You may be surprised even shocked by the amount of stress you feel.

We seldom associate death with stress, yet the death of a loved one is one of the most stressful events that can happen in our lives. Whether it is the death of a parent, a spouse, a child, a sibling, or a beloved friend, death makes us anxious not only about our loss, but about our own mortality.

The most stressful aspect of death may be the fear of the unknown you may not know what to expect next, and you may wonder how you will handle the next obstacle that comes your way.

The most important thing you can do to deal with death-related stress is to recognize it for what it is. Realize that it is perfectly natural for you to feel worried and anxious during this difficult time.

Try to give yourself some time to pause and reflect. Don’t feel as if you have to hurry up and get over the death. Allowing yourself an opportunity to grieve should help to reduce your stress level and make you a healthier person, emotionally speaking.

One thing you can do to help you deal with the stress is to do something positive to remember your loved one by. In other words, consider planting a tree, making a contribution to your loved one’s favorite charity, or volunteering your time at the nursing home that cared for your loved one in his or her final days. Discovering that life still offers pleasant possibilities gives you hope and can help you to deal with your stress more effectively.

Give considerable thought to how your loved one would want you to carry on after his or her death. Chances are great your father, mother, husband, or brother would not want you sulking in the corner for the rest of your life. Give yourself permission to go on with life. As a result, you should feel less stress and you should enjoy life more.

Another effective stress-reducing technique is to commit your thoughts to paper. Writing can be quite therapeutic and can help you gain perspective on your situation. The process of writing can improve your problem-solving skills, making you better able to cope with your situation. Also, give yourself time to re-read your journal entries. You might be amazed at how much you’ve grown, emotionally-speaking, over a short period of time.

If the stress of death becomes overwhelming, by all means seek the help of a professional. A counselor can help you to sort out your feelings and recommend coping techniques. You might find it quite liberating to talk to another individual about everything you’re feeling inside. In some cases, you might also want to consult with a psychiatrist to see if there is some medication you can take that will help you deal with death-related anxiety.

All of us will experience the death of someone close to us at some time in our lives. Therefore, we can expect to deal with the stress of losing someone we love.

However, it’s good to know that there are positive things we can do to help us deal more effectively with the stress related to death. While, in a certain sense, we may never get over a loved one’s death, we can learn to cope with the loss. We may even learn to smile again.

Source by Paul Hata

Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships

Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships

One of the keys to obtaining a better life or living arrangement is to assess the quality of relationships that you surround yourself with. Do you surround yourself with loving relationships or unhealthy relationships? For someone that has a pattern or history with unhealthy relationships, the difference between the two may be difficult to decipher.

Healthy relationships are relationships that add to our well being, not subtract. They bring out the best of us by being supportive of our goals and our inner selves. Unhealthy relationships often cause us stress and subtract from our well being, often leaving us feeling depleted of energy.

Relationships are opportunities to express these aspects of self. An opportunity is nothing more than a time and place to demonstrate that you are a kind person or a cruel person or whatever. All of life needs to express itself, and getting involved with another is that opportunity that you have drawn to yourself to say “here I am,” “I am kind,” “I am cruel,” or anything else that you wish to express.

This is the purpose of the relative world. It is the forum, the time and place to experience what you believe that you are and to declare it.

Personal relationships with lovers, partners, family, relatives, friends and strangers facilitate expression of your being. Without relationships you would be nothing because you could not express yourself and you could not declare that you are one thing or the other.

As we change our inner definition or template of our male and female selves to a place of balance and self-acceptance, we are able to attract someone who is more reflective of our true counterpart. Even if we are balanced with our inner masculine reflection, if we do not like our own femininity, we would be unable to create a truly balanced relationship for ourselves.

When you acknowledge your love relationships are at the top of your values list and live accordingly, you will naturally do what you need to do to build and keep good relationships. Keeping their importance in mind as you live your relationships will provide a filter which will ensure you ‘do the right thing’ moment to moment. Good relationships are built over time with creative effort, care and attention. Many people make great efforts to get hitched and then let themselves go, becoming lazy and indifferent to their relationship. Couples in good relationships do the opposite. They constantly work to keep adding value to the relationship. Happy couples are thoughtful of each other. They invest time, energy and money in expressing their love and demonstrating their love in creative, fun ways that honor each other and make their relationship so good.

Follow your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right to you with a relationship then pay attention to those feelings. They are there for a reason. Some people can grow together inside their relationships and some may have to grow apart. The key is to look at ourselves and our relationships in their truest light.

Know that each one of us is entitled to have a loving relationship or friendship. We are worthy of receiving love just as we are worthy of giving it. True partnership fills our cups with abundance, joy, and solidarity, a gift that multiplies within our hearts and our families.

Source by Reeva

Anger Management – 12 Types Of Anger Exposed

Anger is of different types, and can be classified into categories. Recognizing the classification of your anger will help you deal with it better in the long run.

1. Behavioral Anger: When a person experiences behavioral anger, he or she usually confronts the subject that angers them, which is usually another person. Physical harm may follow verbal rudeness. Such are the characteristics of behavioral anger.
2. Chronic Anger: A person that suffers from chronic anger does not always have a rational explanation of why he is angry all the time. Such people hate the world that they live in, hate themselves, hate everybody else and generally fly into tempers at the slightest motivation.
3. Constructive Anger: A person who deals with his anger by canalizing the anger into a constructive path such as self improvement is said to have constructive anger. This is often a result of self help and anger management courses.
4. Deliberate Anger: When a person deliberately poses as he has anger, often as a ploy to control subordinates, this type is called deliberate anger. It is usually a fake enacting of anger, but could escalate into other forms of anger occasionally. Deliberate anger also leaves quickly, especially when confronted.
5. Judgmental Anger: people suffering from this form of anger usually put other people down in front of gatherings, to try and make themselves look superior.
6. Overwhelming anger: As the name suggests, this form of anger exists when the emotion has really got to the root of a person. People experiencing overwhelming anger just cannot stand the situation they are in, and often find destructive means of relieving themselves by self hurt or by hurting other people physically.
7. Paranoid Anger: The paranoid form of anger is totally without just cause. People often work themselves into a frenzy imagining that someone were against them. This is called paranoid anger.
8. Passive Anger: This is a somewhat controlled form of anger where the person experiencing it does not directly show his anger. Instead he resorts to mocking the person who angers him, in a sarcastic manner.
9. Retaliatory Anger: This happens as a result of another person’s anger towards you. When you retaliate in self defense in an angry manner, this is called retaliatory anger.
10. Self Inflicted Anger: Here, a person who is angry with himself punishes himself by inflicting pain upon his own body. This is a common phenomenon with drug addicts.
11. Verbal Anger: Here, the only damage that is done is verbal abuse to other people. This could often be the beginning of other forms of anger.
12. Volatile Anger: This could range from mild anger to an absolute fury, and leaves just as suddenly as it comes. The intensity and the time depends on how well it is controlled by the individual.

Source by Abhishek Agarwal